Engagement Photusss

Haaaaa finally Shafiq Akmal of Candid Syndrome posted the photos from my engagement.

Unfortunately, Lingling and i kinda forgotten to bug him about setting an appointment to select photos for the album. Lambat lagi la nak dapat gambere dalam album nampaknye. But my family and my mom's friends are placated by the photos from my unofficial photogs, the delicious threesome, Shahran, Hendra and Kjell, and the fact that i've printed their (the fam and frens) photos is even better because they wanted something tactile to hold, to prove their photo were taken. Somehow, a photo in their inbox and in a slideshow wasnt enough to satisfy their hunger.

Shafiq Akmal of Candid Syndrome
The official photographer
(ie: the PAID photographer)

The Delicious Threesome
Hendra, Kjell and Shahran Ali
The pro bono photographers


The Delicious Threesome selected photos are available here (Engagement album I)
and here (Engagement album II)
(i need to add new photos with more family members faces in album II since i just figured out how to let non facebook users have access to album. hehe.)

Having four (five if we were to include the assistant) photographers at my engagement was definitely something i am extremely grateful for as they all had their own personal eye and style to photography and they covered the event from every possible aspect. My family have always been particular about wedding photos. One of the criteria for a job well done is, their faces are in the photos. Very very important. And having had 5 photogs! that was well covered. If one didnt catch Mak Teh arranging the hantaran, someone else will, and did.

A hint to give to relatives that hardly ever get their photos taken at important events, ask them to wear sunnies (sunglasses) indoor and outdoor. Confirm there would be at least one photo focused on him/her and they will be happy and they will not criticise your choice of photographer(s) ever again. Case in point in wearing sunnies in door makes you popular to photographer, my uncle who just had his eyes lasered, Pak E.

Every one of my photographers have him focused at least once. If your relative feels silly wearing sunnies indoor, ask them to stand or sit next to someone who doesnt feel silly doing so, or had valid reason not to feel silly. Or ask them to wear sunnies still and if anyone ask them why, tell them to answer "i just had them lasered, dahling!", so it wont be silly. Lying but not silly.

I am engaged!

I acknowledge i have been bad and not updating on my engagement. So bad! bad! spank! bad dayang!

actually i did try to post something short the day after the engagement but internet connection choose to be a problem when i decided to post it and it went into draft and me being me, whatever that goes into draft would hardly ever see the light of worldwideweb day ever again. sigh. but here i am! making up for lost time! I AM ENGAGED! ive been engaged for ...ermm..hmm...ermmm...10 days. wow.

Couple of nights after my engagement, my sister and i was sitting on the sofa watching tv when she suddenly looked at me and loudly exclaimed in her typical bimbonic cheerleader way where they put exclamation marks after each word like! you know?! like! this!

She looked at me and jumped to her knees, "Oh! my! God! ...you're like! *pause* engaged! *gasp* *pause*"

So it finally hit her that her sister have gotten herself engaged. ... such tragedy. such horror. ...how was i suppose to answer this? by giving my sister the usual look and sarcastic answer.

"ermm..*fake gasp!* im engaged! ...yeah. i know. i was there."

...she continued looking at me, all bug eyed and with her head slightly tilting to the right.
*pause* she looked at me quizzically and me looking back at her with what-is-the-matter-with-my-sister?! look. and she then after several dragged moment of silence that you could hear someone breaking the head of my gingerbread man, she dropped the bomb,

"....but you don't look any different....*blinkblink* *still staring at me*"

Sigh. yes. my sister.

I definitely dont look any different other than i have this blingbling of a ring on my left hand to signify i am betrothed to be married. I dont really feel any difference. This is 10 days after the event, so i guess everything is kinda calm right now. I did look different on my engagement day though! i looked pweeettyyy! coz i had Esham to do my make up and hair. I cant remember much from the day itself other than ....

It was nerve wrecking. i felt like i had an out of body experience wondering why everyone was in my room, taking photos of me and with me. felt like i was at someone else engagement and i was just a guest "menyibuk". but it all went well. thank you all for coming, i really REALLY appreciate it.

I had Shafiq Akmal from Candid Syndrome taking photos for the engagement and he was fantastic, making jokes with everyone in the room, made me feel comfortable and less of a stranger to him and more of a friend menyibuk taking photo of another friend. He was the official photog. But i have to say i really really love my unofficial but equally appreciated photog, Shahran, Hendra and Kjell that came down from Singapore just to be at our engagement.

The day started of with me remembering to eat and then (almost expectedly) cut my finger by something i havent figured out. Typical dayang to be accident prone. i cut myself on my ring finger on my right hand. Just nice la kan. that finger jugak la kan. So yeah, i have a cut on my ring finger on the day of the engagement. hehe.

Esham came and started doing my make up and my friends slowly started to trickle into the room. I was restless, i know. i cant help it. i get restless when im nervous...and waiting. i hate waiting. and when the make up and hair was complete....i was waiting some more! with my dad continuously calling me to call zul to ask for current status. and then i found out my dad had zul's number all along..........wwwwhyyyyy whyyyyyyy torture me so daddy?!

i thank the lucky stars i had my friends keeping me calm, making me "SIT DOWN!" (yayzah and ika were the pushy ones for this) and be poise and demure, started distracted me by talking to me, keeping me in conversations (malina, alia, nad and niza), and handing me a toy to strangle and keep my hands busy (malina). ...and then the rombongan came. i cant hear a thing, and zul was with his friends at the clubhouse having a drink by the pool with the boys. i heard marina's fiance who came with her somehow ended up with the boys there, and so was siddiq, aliza's husband who was part of zul's entourage from home. Boys will be boys.

And suddenly it was time to bring the hantaran downstairs.

It was agreed for zul to give me 7 hantarans and i were to reply with 9 hantarans. Since it was also his 26th birthday and his first birthday with me as his significant other, his hantaran were extra special and a lot of thoughts were put into them.

The butang baju melayu were set with amethyst stones, February birthstone.
And he received a complete set of clothes to be worn for the akad nikah.

There was a gingerbread girl and boy theme throughout. Guests received favours of a gingerbread boy or girl. And there were a gingerbread boy or girl hidden on each tray and i requested for a gingerbread couple lying on a cake as one of the hantaran. It turned out beautiful and im afraid, it will be copied by others from now on. Sigh.

Yada yada yada. I was nervous as hell and im glad i didnt run when i was going down the stairs and then...before i realise what has happened they have put a ring on my finger and i was engaged. Zul's sister Anne sms him to inform him that. Hes engaged. and so am i.

Before he can see his fiancee though, he was stopped by an army of mothers. My other mothers. The collection of toll. It was totally unexpected. Suddenly i had like 6 people surrounding me (actually shoving their ass towards me) and blocked my view and air supply and left me wondering what is going on, until i heard the phrase "bayar tol baru boleh tengok!"

and zul replying "ha?! tol?! ada seringit je ni! camna ni?!"

after must negotiation, they let him off with a warning to be better prepared in July. :)

and then i finally saw my fiance looking at me with.....confusion. yes, confusion. and then shock. then senyum berjela before he sat next to me.

and then suddenly! aunty fairuz (one of my other mothers) came, grab and shoved a pillow between us to act as a barrier! "baru tunang! takleh duduk dekat-dekat! kena ada barrier!"

Those were among the funny moments i can remember. Im glad everything went smoothly and everyone had fun. i have hundred of photos and so far, everyone looked so happy in them, so i am glad everyone had fun on my engagement day. thank you for being part of it.

Do you remember?

Remember the time when i was crying?
Remember how you held me close?
Remember when you cried with me?
Remember what i wrote before?

Remember how you listened to me?
Remember when you called me up?
Remembering me to just keep breathing.
Remember what i wrote before?

so its time to move on from all the lies and all half-truths. it is hard when you have gave everything that you have,love, trust and commitment, and accepted flaws and faults. hard to collect back the bits and pieces strewn all over the ground. to form back what you once were. possible, but there will be pieces that have flown with the wind or taken by the waves. but you do it, you pick up what is left. walk slowly on the ever yielding sands, bend and reach for the broken pieces that you can find.

and maybe,just maybe, it will be whole again.

for the missing bits, pieces that were taken by the waves and flew with the winds, might come back in different forms. be it a beautiful shell or raindrops. slowly, it will return: different, almost unrecognisable but there it is, a missing piece returning.

i turn back to my faith. madness, this faith business. putting your absolute trust over something that might or may not happen. on something that is uncertain and intangible. but its your only hope for sanity. faith is the only thing that keeps you going and moving on. something to hold on to, to say "it will be ok, things will turn out right, you wait and see"

faith and words.

only through words i could express my faith. though faith in its madness is quite a fathomless feeling.

i appreciate life. i love small wonders. i love when the rain falls down and i could see the tear shaped drops fall and scatter all over as it touch the ground i walk on, close my eyes and listen to the thunder and lightning rolling, crashing as it cleanses the world as it cleanses my soul. and once in while, just to stand in the rain. i dont think you know that. i love to see the waves roll in as the sun sets, touching the sky with strokes of pink, oranges, purple and blue. i love to feel the warmth of the sun caress my skin, making me feel im alive and i love to see the moon when its full and when the stars are bright as if its there just for me, just a twinkling and shining. a show just for me. thats where my faith lies.

Remember what i wrote before?
Because of you, i am now whole.

Walk slowly on the ever yielding sand,
bend and reach for the broken pieces that you can find,
and sure enough, my faith pulled through,
i found my treasure when i'm with you.*

Happy Valentine Mohd Zulhelmy.

*Two pieces of seaglass found on a beach at Port Dickson. Their edges smooth, worn by the sea, rocks, coral and sand over an unknown number of years. I was lucky to find these two that could be shaped into a heart. Maybe, it's just coincidence, but maybe it's fate.

Sayang oh sayang

Photos with my Sayang taken by Lingling with his...*collective gasp!* iPhone.

He likes this one for some strange reason. I think its the "Private Carpark" sign. read the meaning behind it yourself.


I hold the camera differently for vertical shot than Lingling. Somehow. Thats how we know who took which vertical shot whenever we review photos. Mine would be 90degree off to the left, his will be 90degree off to the right.

Longkang. Something was in it. Worried expression have a lot to do with the cars passing by the very narrow alley.

As i said again and again, it doesnt matter if you have a dslr for pro or for beginner like me, or a simple point and click camera or a PHONE CAMERA, if you have the right perspective, the right eye and the willingness to climb trees, stand on an unstable pile of rock, get wet or/and lie down in a longkang, you will take an interesting shot.


Or balancing on a VERY HIGH ledge taking an upward shot.


Or making your taxi driver stop suddenly and crossing roads to chase elephants.

It all comes down to: will you or won't you?

And another way to take good photos, follow a crazy enthusiastic girl with a big ass camera and you get interesting shots of her doing everything she can to take a photo.

Kejar-kejar

At one of the backlane of Jonker Street, Malacca, Lingling went wild.

It's a gif btw, might be useful to click on it to view.

Please Mister Postman

Wait, oh yes wait a minute mister postman
Wait, wait mister postman

Mister postman look and see
If there's a letter in your bag for me
I been waiting such a long time
Since I heard from that girl of mine

There must be some word today
From my girlfriend so far away
Please mister postman look and see
If there's a letter, a letter for me
I been standing here waiting mister postman
So patiently
For just a card or just a letter
Saying she's returning home to me

So many days you passed me by
See the tear standing in my eye
You didn't stop to make me feel better
By leaving me a card or a letter

Please Mr. Postman, look and see
If there's a letter, oh yeh for me,
I've been waiting, a long long time
Since I've heard from that girlfriend of mine.

You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta wait a minute, wait a minute
You gotta check it and see, one more time for me

Wait
Wait
Wait
Deliver the letter, the sooner the better

Wait

Signs of Love #155

He called me, "b*tch!"

And i replied, "assh*le!"

And then we laughed

And then we hugged

And then he said "i love you. we are so weird"

And then i said "i love you too"

And then he said while laughing "if there are people who are looking at us now, they must think we're crazy."

It is not what was said, its the way you say it.

That is amongst the reason how i know he is the one for me.

Although i don't really recommend you start calling your partner "yo b*tch!" or "hei arse!" even to test the water. We are weird, you dont have to try to be like us because you might end up as real b*tches and assh*les.

Proclaimer: I am not responsible for any loss/broken/damaged of body organs inc. hearts and bruised skin, limbs and bones; physically, mentally nor mentally. Proceed at your own risk.

Old Spinner

*as i was browsing for my daily laughs @[xkcd.com]

I always do this and get asked the same question, when the answer is very much obvious ie: Spinning. Next time Lingling ask me "what are you doing?" as he watch me going round and round and round, i'll answer this, i promise.

.
..
...

providing i remember my own name first and foremost as my brain mucus and other eww inspiring stuff stir and spin around like drained cabbages in that empty space up there.

1 out of 3 to pure happiness

I.am.officially.not.single.seriously? seriously!?!
oh!my!God!

I've been a busy bee last week but the highlight of the week have a lot to do with this ring.
The merisik is done, two more steps to go before I am 100% his! I am pre-booked! yay!!

but as my mom said to me after his parents left, "dah, jangan cari boyfriend lain dah". dangit!

Ever since Lingling asked my dad if it would be okay for his parents to come over my house to meet my parents, my parents have been on the edge.

I was watching Fred Claus on friday, after i came back from Langkawi. While i was watching the movie, "dingdong!" softly came the sound of a doorbell, and promptly after, my mother's head poked out of her room,

"what was that?" she asked and she paused, looked at our blank faces for answers. Then her body followed her head out,

"i heard doorbell. was that the doorbell? sapa datang?", pause again, like a predator sniffing the air to pinpoint their prey, then she shuffled her way downstairs, all the while looking confused and asking "sapa tuuuu, sapa tuuuu".

She came back up and shuffled her way back into her bedroom, all the while muttering "i thought i heard doorbell...hmmm".

My sister and i shrug it off and continued watching the movie.

"Dingdong!" slightly louder then before.

This time i know where it came from. and i waited. and i waited. "hmm maybe she didnt hear it this time"

10 seconds passed.

OUT came the head poking out from her bedroom door!

"Ha! there it is again!", she said while looking at us excitedly.

"Dengar tak?" she asked while she shuffled her body out and stood in the family hall with her right ear turned upward, waiting for Godknowswhat but i think for a sound, any sound. She stood there listening for a few seconds before she move to stand near the stairs, looking down at the main entrance, "takda apa pun. iskh".

My sister and I were trying not to laugh. She saw our faces, and she smiled, "takda eh? no doorbell eh?" and she walked back into her room. We didn't have the heart to tell her that the sound came from the movie. it was a movie doorbells.

Ah well...parents anxiety and all is over. FOR NOW!



Two more steps baby, two more momentous steps, and lots and lots more panic, anxiety and jumpingjumping of excitement and nervousness to come.

It's you sayang, sayang and sayang

Lingling said "Yang, look here"

I did and i looked towards my three loved ones. They made me smile, like so.
Sayang, my Canon 30D was being held by Lingling who was given the task to be the photographer at Fiza's engagement two days ago. Those are two of my babies, but most importantly, i was smiling at my Babylove, my latest purchase that left me will no money, a Canon Speedlite 580EX II. Top of the range baby, top of the range.

As i was looking at this photo, i immediate thought about another b&w photo of myself taken by Lingling a few months before.

It's amazing how different i looked. The mood i was expressing. The spontaneous smile in the recent one and the melancholic sadness in the other. How amazing someone can make you feel.


Sing a song of sorrow

Moments,
thats what i remember,
Seconds,
short snippets from countless hours,
A Smile,
of what words couldn't say,
Songs,
sweet songs of sorrow i would quietly sing,
Kisses,
that were lies,
Heart,
no longer whole,
Continuous Hope,
i don't know why,
Waiting,
to forget, and be left behind

Alhamdullilah that has passed. It has been left behind.

A song worth singing

Moments,
when you stumbled over your words,
Seconds,
to cast the friendship away,
A Smile,
slowly in my heart begins to form,
Songs,
no longer of sorrows but as bright as day,
Kisses,
we’ve tried without laughing,
Heart,
that dances to the sound of joy,
Continuous Hope,
that I now know why,
Waiting,
when we shall both fly.

goodbye faithful nikon

It's official...


Opie and Imran are husband and wife. Wowie!


Congratulations and may you stay on the path of happiness and love always.

It's also official...

I am not satisfied with my old Nikon D70 anymore. i tried using it as a secondary camera while Lingling used my Sayang aka Canon 30D. He was the primary photographer at the shoot because i wanted to sibuk buat bende lain, in other words, i wanted to sibuk-sibuk be in the photos jugak la. So since i knew i would not concentrate too much on photos, i decided to take the ol Nikon out for a shoot. ...

Hampeh, i was dissatisfied with the LCD screen - too small!
i was dissatisfied with the colours - not getting what i want. probably because my dad set it to HIS preferred setting and no longer to my previous one. and i forgot how to preset it again for Nikon.
i was no longer familiar with the focus, lense zoom and settings.
i was even dissatisfied with the sound it makes - ...so lembik.

"Baby Nikon, you taught me a lot but i must move on. Thank you for the great photos and memories. Ye shall not be forgotten, as ye photos are never erased (until my hard drive buat hal, touch wood!) "

So i put it aside.

i settled with observing Lingling takes his photos and when i notice he missed something, i not-so-quietly directed him to shoot the shot.

"Yang, mai sini"
"Yang, amik gambar tu"
"Yang, tengah posing ni"

We are a noisy team, but we are a team, a good one :P

Dah la he's extra blur today. Usually he have the same eye as i do, we tend to compete to take the same shoots. Today, it seems he was out of his element, maybe because he was surrounded by excited girls that were all talking about engagements, marriages and weddings, including his own. Hence, i had to direct him a bit more than i usually do whenever he holds the camera and i am without.

Shock of marriage tends to do that to any guy right? either they become entirely blur, unfocused at the task at hand or they just act like they are 15 years old again, all giddy and mengada-gada buat lawak-lawak bodoh yang tak lawak langsung.

Today, he's the blur 25 years old cameraman and i'm the director. took a couple of photos of Fiza then i wanted to sibuk be in the photos again. Coz i wanted to be giddy and mengada-gada. (which is perfectly acceptable for girls at their close friend's engagements and weddings!)

Facebook applications and me

I'm on "adding-whatever-Facebook-applications-people-request-me-to-join" mood.

So far i've added Pink Ribbon cause, Petrolhead, Sketch Me, Love Ice Cream dan macam-macam lagi. Ah Facebook applications, "cornucopia of uselessness" as quoted in Valleywag, a tech blog i do not read but so happened it was quoted on wikipidea :P

Usually i just let the applications invites pile up and one boring day pick the one i think interesting and ignore the rest. MOST of the time, Lingling would just click "ignore.ignore.ignore.ignore.ignore.ignore" for me because he just cant stand to see all the applications request on my Facebook page.

and of course there is me trying to get hold of the mouse and stop his "ignore.ignore.ignore" clicking to MY invites and with me constantly telling him

"i wanted to check that out later!" and "but the same invites will pile up again anyway! might as well keep them there so i won't have to keep ignoring them" and then of course he would say

"then ignore la before they pile up" ,

"but i dont want to add them now but i might want to check them out on a later date"

which he will retort,
"you will get the same invite back later WHEN you actually want to check them out"

"but i might not get the invites back"

And he will keep on clicking "ignore.ignore.ignore.ignore"
...

he's right by the way. you are 99% more likely to get the same applications invites over and over again until you have added the application (not statistically proven, no quantifiable research were done whatsoever). And the invites will never stop. Not when there are more than 6 500 Facebook applications as of 24 October 2007. (thanks wiki for that ever useful and positive information!)