I am engaged!

I acknowledge i have been bad and not updating on my engagement. So bad! bad! spank! bad dayang!

actually i did try to post something short the day after the engagement but internet connection choose to be a problem when i decided to post it and it went into draft and me being me, whatever that goes into draft would hardly ever see the light of worldwideweb day ever again. sigh. but here i am! making up for lost time! I AM ENGAGED! ive been engaged for ...ermm..hmm...ermmm...10 days. wow.

Couple of nights after my engagement, my sister and i was sitting on the sofa watching tv when she suddenly looked at me and loudly exclaimed in her typical bimbonic cheerleader way where they put exclamation marks after each word like! you know?! like! this!

She looked at me and jumped to her knees, "Oh! my! God! ...you're like! *pause* engaged! *gasp* *pause*"

So it finally hit her that her sister have gotten herself engaged. ... such tragedy. such horror. ...how was i suppose to answer this? by giving my sister the usual look and sarcastic answer.

"ermm..*fake gasp!* im engaged! ...yeah. i know. i was there."

...she continued looking at me, all bug eyed and with her head slightly tilting to the right.
*pause* she looked at me quizzically and me looking back at her with what-is-the-matter-with-my-sister?! look. and she then after several dragged moment of silence that you could hear someone breaking the head of my gingerbread man, she dropped the bomb,

"....but you don't look any different....*blinkblink* *still staring at me*"

Sigh. yes. my sister.

I definitely dont look any different other than i have this blingbling of a ring on my left hand to signify i am betrothed to be married. I dont really feel any difference. This is 10 days after the event, so i guess everything is kinda calm right now. I did look different on my engagement day though! i looked pweeettyyy! coz i had Esham to do my make up and hair. I cant remember much from the day itself other than ....

It was nerve wrecking. i felt like i had an out of body experience wondering why everyone was in my room, taking photos of me and with me. felt like i was at someone else engagement and i was just a guest "menyibuk". but it all went well. thank you all for coming, i really REALLY appreciate it.

I had Shafiq Akmal from Candid Syndrome taking photos for the engagement and he was fantastic, making jokes with everyone in the room, made me feel comfortable and less of a stranger to him and more of a friend menyibuk taking photo of another friend. He was the official photog. But i have to say i really really love my unofficial but equally appreciated photog, Shahran, Hendra and Kjell that came down from Singapore just to be at our engagement.

The day started of with me remembering to eat and then (almost expectedly) cut my finger by something i havent figured out. Typical dayang to be accident prone. i cut myself on my ring finger on my right hand. Just nice la kan. that finger jugak la kan. So yeah, i have a cut on my ring finger on the day of the engagement. hehe.

Esham came and started doing my make up and my friends slowly started to trickle into the room. I was restless, i know. i cant help it. i get restless when im nervous...and waiting. i hate waiting. and when the make up and hair was complete....i was waiting some more! with my dad continuously calling me to call zul to ask for current status. and then i found out my dad had zul's number all along..........wwwwhyyyyy whyyyyyyy torture me so daddy?!

i thank the lucky stars i had my friends keeping me calm, making me "SIT DOWN!" (yayzah and ika were the pushy ones for this) and be poise and demure, started distracted me by talking to me, keeping me in conversations (malina, alia, nad and niza), and handing me a toy to strangle and keep my hands busy (malina). ...and then the rombongan came. i cant hear a thing, and zul was with his friends at the clubhouse having a drink by the pool with the boys. i heard marina's fiance who came with her somehow ended up with the boys there, and so was siddiq, aliza's husband who was part of zul's entourage from home. Boys will be boys.

And suddenly it was time to bring the hantaran downstairs.

It was agreed for zul to give me 7 hantarans and i were to reply with 9 hantarans. Since it was also his 26th birthday and his first birthday with me as his significant other, his hantaran were extra special and a lot of thoughts were put into them.

The butang baju melayu were set with amethyst stones, February birthstone.
And he received a complete set of clothes to be worn for the akad nikah.

There was a gingerbread girl and boy theme throughout. Guests received favours of a gingerbread boy or girl. And there were a gingerbread boy or girl hidden on each tray and i requested for a gingerbread couple lying on a cake as one of the hantaran. It turned out beautiful and im afraid, it will be copied by others from now on. Sigh.

Yada yada yada. I was nervous as hell and im glad i didnt run when i was going down the stairs and then...before i realise what has happened they have put a ring on my finger and i was engaged. Zul's sister Anne sms him to inform him that. Hes engaged. and so am i.

Before he can see his fiancee though, he was stopped by an army of mothers. My other mothers. The collection of toll. It was totally unexpected. Suddenly i had like 6 people surrounding me (actually shoving their ass towards me) and blocked my view and air supply and left me wondering what is going on, until i heard the phrase "bayar tol baru boleh tengok!"

and zul replying "ha?! tol?! ada seringit je ni! camna ni?!"

after must negotiation, they let him off with a warning to be better prepared in July. :)

and then i finally saw my fiance looking at me with.....confusion. yes, confusion. and then shock. then senyum berjela before he sat next to me.

and then suddenly! aunty fairuz (one of my other mothers) came, grab and shoved a pillow between us to act as a barrier! "baru tunang! takleh duduk dekat-dekat! kena ada barrier!"

Those were among the funny moments i can remember. Im glad everything went smoothly and everyone had fun. i have hundred of photos and so far, everyone looked so happy in them, so i am glad everyone had fun on my engagement day. thank you for being part of it.

12 hours to scary smiles all around

12 hours.

12 hours.

i met zul the last time as his girlfriend. tomorrow, he will be my fiance.

..
...
....

i am not going to be single anymore! i will be officially someone's fiance! bethroned! taken! unavailable! no-more-oggling-and-scandalous flirting! (openly that is and with *other intentions secretly or openly*). i ....have....12 hours to go.

how will i sleep??!!!!

..that is another matter coz my bed is filled with barang-barang hantaran and i dont have a bed to sleep on. ... sigh.

sigh..

12 hours...12 hours to endless smiles. dont shout dayang. dont scream. dont go jumping around. dont go spinning around. just smile. breathe and smile. breathe and smile.

ok.

i think now its out of my system, maybe i can sleep, soon.
wish me luck.

Donate a Dictionary Drive (DDD)

Lively: ok. boleh tahan. ... except they look kinda...erm relaxed and laid back. maybe because they are on their back. .... and ermm..not moving. lively means full of life...right? erm? active? ermm..full of spirit and vivacity? yeah ok.

Natural:

photog: "ok sayangS, i need to take a natural shot"

bride: "ok sayang, meet me in the secondary forest in my backyard, i shall wait for you in the stream ala puteri gunung ledang. you will not lose me as i will wear my pink wedding attire complete with the veil."

groom: "ok sayang, i will don my hot pink jacket and rescue you....do you really have to be in the middle of the stream? ill get wet! but its ok, you are my everything, what is a little cold streaming water will do to me? other than give me hypothermia, ruin the fabric of my dry clean only suit and get leeches up to my private areas. and to show i do not mind all of these, i will even kiss your hand, coz i am your prince charming, here to rescue you, my fair maiden. you just sit there and wait for me in a stream in a forest wearing your dry clean only (probably rented thats why i dont care) attire."

bride: "oh sayang, i do this all the time. every evening i trek in the forest in my best baju kurung / baju kebaya / rented wedding dress/ heels and soak in the stream whilst wearing them. remember sayang? this was how we met? you were trekking in the forest wearing your best clothes/ suit/ tuxedo/office attire/ dressing shoes, and sat to rest by the stream.its only natural we are to have our photo taken like so."

yes. that made a lot of sense. very natural indeed.

or maybe he meant in natural surrounding? ?? ????

Candid: 4: relating to or being photography of subjects acting naturally or spontaneously without being posed

Maybe it waaaassss natural and spontaneous. The groom likes to scare his lady like she is a 2 years old.

"garrgghh!! i.am.a.monster! fear me!"

and the bride naturally does slightly cover her mouth with her hand and slightly smile when she is surprised

"oh my God! you like totally like surprised me! like opocot! tehehe hehe tehehe".

except i dont understand why they did this natural and spontaneous portrait in front of the mosque instead in the bedroom...on the bed. Duh! stupid me! its natural and spontaneous! it doesnt have to be explained! thats why! ....

maybe if the photo title was explained more in detail it would have made more sense..

"Candid Shot of Suami Gersang,
Tak Tahan Hendak Menikam Isteri Sebaik Sahaja Disahkan Suami Isteri. "

yup. that must have been the case.

detailed: i just love a photo showing how dangerously close the eyeliner is to my eyeball. it mixes glamour and danger-of-my-eyeball-being-poked-and-yes-you-can-see-the-inside-of-my-
bottom-eyelids-that-are-normally-hidden.
dont you love this kind of details?

i give him credit. it IS detailed. but.........i really really dont like that pencil so close to my eyeball and having that photo as your top marketing strategy.


artistic: after all the comments above. i will not comment on the imagination of the photographer. he have plenty of imagination! not doubt about that! no-uh!

i wont name the photographer for that though i actually think he takes acceptable photographs. Not my cup of teh tarik perhaps. and i am sure he have actual "lively-natural-candid-more artistic-better detailed" shots.

And maybe he just need a dictionary.

It's counting down!!!! fast!!!

Get this widget!

Enough to make me panic NOW!

....

and yet still...i have done the wedding widget too. but i refuse to watch two countdown on one page counting down the seconds as it pass you by...every. single. second.

0.o

GAK!!!

A beautiful One

I was browsing some blogs when i found this little jewel. Reminded me to do "certain" things more often.

I wish more people would tell stories like this instead of shoving "you will burn in hell! smell your own flesh burning and feel the pain from the evil of your doing in this worldly world!" down your throat when they think you're not the kind that pray, don't know how to read the Quran, commit adultery everyday, every second, drinks alcohol by the buckets and don't believe in God. and then they say they are not judgmental and men (and women) of faith. Mind you, these people dont know you, never seen you in clubs but somehow KNOW you are one of "those kind yang telah tersesat jalan". And they preach the fiery hell story and other bad things that will happen to those that follow that path.

I do know the fiery hell story but i also believe that my faith is mostly about peace, sincerity and love. and to love your faith is not through fear, but through love itself.

Cliche. i know. ah well. i rather be brought back to the right path through stories of love and compassion than something that makes me more afraid to think about, much less to believe in.

A Beautiful Hadith

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihe wasallam) said: 'When a man dies and his relatives are busy in funeral, there stands an extremely handsome man by his head. When the dead body is shrouded, that man gets in between the shroud and the chest of the deceased.

When after the burial, the people return home, 2 angels, Munkar and Nakeer (names of two special Angels), come in the grave and try to separate this handsome man so that they may be able to interrogate the dead man in privacy about his faith. But the handsome man says, 'He is my companion, he is my friend. I will not leave him alone in any case. If you are
appointed for interrogation, do your job. I cannot leave him until I get him admitted into Paradise '.

Thereafter he turns to his dead companion and says, 'I am the Qur'an, which you used to read, sometimes in a loud voice and sometimes in a low voice. Do not worry. After the interrogation of Munkar and Naker, you will have nogrief.'

When the interrogation is over, the handsome man arranges for him from Al-Mala'ul A'laa (the angels in Heaven) silk bedding filled with musk.

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihe wasallam) said: 'On the Day of Judgement, before Allah, no other Intercessor will have a greater status than the Qur'an, neither a Prophet nor an angel.'

Please keep forwarding this 'Hadith' to all ....because Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihe wasallam) said:

'Pass on knowledge from me even if it is only one verse'.

May Allah bestow this favour on all of us.

AMEEN

Do you remember?

Remember the time when i was crying?
Remember how you held me close?
Remember when you cried with me?
Remember what i wrote before?

Remember how you listened to me?
Remember when you called me up?
Remembering me to just keep breathing.
Remember what i wrote before?

so its time to move on from all the lies and all half-truths. it is hard when you have gave everything that you have,love, trust and commitment, and accepted flaws and faults. hard to collect back the bits and pieces strewn all over the ground. to form back what you once were. possible, but there will be pieces that have flown with the wind or taken by the waves. but you do it, you pick up what is left. walk slowly on the ever yielding sands, bend and reach for the broken pieces that you can find.

and maybe,just maybe, it will be whole again.

for the missing bits, pieces that were taken by the waves and flew with the winds, might come back in different forms. be it a beautiful shell or raindrops. slowly, it will return: different, almost unrecognisable but there it is, a missing piece returning.

i turn back to my faith. madness, this faith business. putting your absolute trust over something that might or may not happen. on something that is uncertain and intangible. but its your only hope for sanity. faith is the only thing that keeps you going and moving on. something to hold on to, to say "it will be ok, things will turn out right, you wait and see"

faith and words.

only through words i could express my faith. though faith in its madness is quite a fathomless feeling.

i appreciate life. i love small wonders. i love when the rain falls down and i could see the tear shaped drops fall and scatter all over as it touch the ground i walk on, close my eyes and listen to the thunder and lightning rolling, crashing as it cleanses the world as it cleanses my soul. and once in while, just to stand in the rain. i dont think you know that. i love to see the waves roll in as the sun sets, touching the sky with strokes of pink, oranges, purple and blue. i love to feel the warmth of the sun caress my skin, making me feel im alive and i love to see the moon when its full and when the stars are bright as if its there just for me, just a twinkling and shining. a show just for me. thats where my faith lies.

Remember what i wrote before?
Because of you, i am now whole.

Walk slowly on the ever yielding sand,
bend and reach for the broken pieces that you can find,
and sure enough, my faith pulled through,
i found my treasure when i'm with you.*

Happy Valentine Mohd Zulhelmy.

*Two pieces of seaglass found on a beach at Port Dickson. Their edges smooth, worn by the sea, rocks, coral and sand over an unknown number of years. I was lucky to find these two that could be shaped into a heart. Maybe, it's just coincidence, but maybe it's fate.

Sarah Silverman

Too hilarious to comment upon! Matt Damon! ohhh Matt Damon!

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Things that i associate with chinese new year; the colour red and gold, firecrackers cracking non-stop for a week from dusk till dawn, major discounts and sale everywhere, less traffic in KL, mandarin oranges, beating of drums and appearance of jumping dragons, red ang pow packets and especially for the year 2008, happy smiling people celebrating another new year for the THIRD time. its good to be in a multiracial society.

Wishing all my chinese friends, a happy chinese new year, just be gentle with the beers.